One Bad Apple...

[mpetre]

Cliche's are almost always abounding with wisdom. We all know that one bad apple can spoil the rest. Tuesday immediately following a long and draining day at work my wife and I went out to Ward to enjoy a round of golf. It was still a bit muddy from the torrential rains we had the night before, so maybe not the most enjoyable round, but anyday playing disc golf is better than one without. At least this is how I felt at 5:00 Tuesday. After a quick nine holes I dropped by DrDisc's van to give him a found bright green Orc so that it might find its rightful owner. As I chatted with him for a second or two a man told my wife and I that he had a new rule for weekend double's tournaments.
"If you bring your wife or girlfriend with you then she is automatically your partner," he stated with a snideness that raised the hair on the back of my neck.
Turns out this was Tracy's partner in Sunday's doubles and I guess they didn't do as well in the tournament as he expected.
In the back of my mind I was thinking "Sure that sounds great, I really enjoy playing with my wife Tracy and when we are in separate groups in doubles I miss her company and encouragement." But another part of me knew that this slight was eating at my wife's ego and in turn was really starting to hurt me too. It had taken much coaxing to get Tracy out there in the first place.
"Matt I don't want to make anyone mad. Matt, I don't want people to dislike me because they get me as a partner..."
As a matter of fact perhaps it would be a great idea for Tracy and I to be partners every week, and on that same idea everyone should just choose their partners. I have a feeling there may be some people that don't get chosen at all, but that's what they get for being the way they are.
I had finally convinced her that after a year of playing at Seven Oaks in Nashville I was certain that weekly doubles were a "fun" affair and that disc golfers in general are a very laid back and friendly crowd. So we played for the first time in doubles two weeks ago and she drew Justin as her partner. He was great first partner for her and gave her the encouragement to really "up" her game. She's gone from a 11+ average to around 4+ in just a few short weeks (9 holes..) and she's improving each time she goes out.
Now I don't know if I'll be able to convince her to get out again for anything but social rounds with me.
I have been in numerous doubles tournaments in which I played much below the level my wife is playing at now and not once did I receive even the slightest disgust from my partner (as a matter of fact one of them shared the Ace Pot he won with me despite my complaints.) I had never before met a disc golfer I didn't like and hope to never meet another of that vein. I know there is nothing substantial that can be done about the existence of such people on our shared earth, but I do also know that it is my right to speak my peace and let others know how such bad apples effect others.

I want to end with a quick shout out to the great, friendly, and encouraging golfers out there: (just a few that we've met in the short time at Ward)
Justin, Tom, JD, Mike from Florida, Richard, Jeremy, Randy, and many others whose names I haven't quite yet caught. Thank you for making one of the few things my wife and I get to do outside of the house an enjoyable experience. Keep up the kindness, it spreads too.

["Tiger"]

I don't know who your partner was but let me apologize for him on behalf of all us "vets". I tend to think the doubles rounds are fun and I enjoy all my partners (if anything I keep them from winning most of the time). I hate that your wife feels like she got slighted and hope she never has to run across that again. If she does decide to come back out for doubles but still feels uncomfortable with being paired with someone who won't appreciate her game then I have no qualms with having you two paired together. But on the note of not playing to your partners expectations... there's a reason we play doubles best-shot... if her partner didn't shoot well he should learn to improve his own game. Then he can shoot in the double digits by himself and win. Once again I'm sorry and I hope you guys come out again :cool:

[drdisc]

Matt, your wife's partner got a good "talking to" after ya'll left. He was the only one who was in favor of his made up rule. Everyone else is glad to see the both of you out there. I know your wife has been improving and we are all glad to help both of you out with any part of the game.
You called it, "one bad apple". Maybe he won't be in the barrel next time ya'll come out. If so, just ignore him.
BTW, Ben was very happy to see his disc again. He said , thanks a lot.
________
BabiSyn live (http://camslivesexy.com/cam/BabiSyn)

[Tim Keith]

I will gladly be your wife's partner anytime.

TK

[25322]

I don't know who the guy was but we should introduce him to Chris and Karen Jaskolka, Zack and Leslie Easterling, Josh and Marla Lenox, Ginger and Dean Tannock, or Addie Isbell and Chad Smith. I don't think he would be to fond of that rule when they beat him and most anyone he got teamed with every week.

It's attitudes like that that scare new players off. First of all we have far to few women playing the sport as is. They should be treated like endangered species and given every support. I remmeber the first time I played with Karen J, If I recall we won and wouldn't have without her putting. In fact many clubs give strokes off for the teams with New women players until they get their game to a competitive level. Others allow the women to play for free. But the same principles apply to new male players. If you don't want to be teamed with a new player thats going to play bad then you don't need to be out there at all. It shouldn't be about the money and most that are worried about winning often hide wanting the money under the guise of "I want to win, I am competitive"

People like that are in the sport for themselves not for the love of the sport. I don't have much use for people like that. I hope that Tom was able to talk some sense into him. The largest means of promoting this sport is word of mouth and for every one attitude like that it takes a more people to reverse it's effect.

-David

[MAJ DG]

I'll admit that whenever I don't get paired with someone whom I think will give me a good shot of at least placing in doubles, I feel a little disappointed. :( Hey, I'm human...I do enjoy being competitive. And, sometimes, I'm sure others are disappointed about being paired with me. That said, I usually get over it.

However, I hope that I am a good enough actor not to let that show for the benefit of my partner. I love disc golf and I especially enjoy meeting new players and as I get to know them, I enjoy watching their games improve. (Hey, I remember when I could beat the likes of Jeremy and Kris...but those days are gone...their games have progressed much faster than mine and have surpassed mine.)

Matt, I know and others know who you are referring to and let's just say he is not well adjusted and "doesn't play well with all of the other children".

Let Tracy know that she is very welcome to play with the majority of us. And we all hope that she continues to get better so that one day she can beat the heck out of that individual (in disc golf, that is. :D )

["Tiger"]

I'll admit that whenever I don't get paired with someone whom I think will give me a good shot of at least placing in doubles, I feel a little disappointed. :( Hey, I'm human...I do enjoy being competitive. And, sometimes, I'm sure others are disappointed about being paired with me. That said, I usually get over it.


There's absolutely nothing wrong with being competitive. I think to a degree we all are. Its the competition thats gonna push this sport on a professional level and helps bolster more outside support. With that said there's a difference in being competitive within your game and bitchin at your partners performance. Like I said before, when I play and we don't win I blame me and only me. If my partner misses a 20 ft and I miss the same putt, I have no right to complain. If you're good, you can shoot 14 or 15 by yourself. I sometimes treat it as an extra challenge when I'm paired with a new player, because I want to win the money for them and keep them coming back. I also love that I have an opportunity to teach the game to someone else. In the end it boils down to the fact that disc golf in competition is individual, doubles helps you meet new people and break the monotony of lonesome practice.

[mpetre]

There is a great need for more women in disc golf, I know there are a lot of single guys out here playing that really wish more single women enjoyed the sport as much as Tracy does. In today's world it takes both genders to bring legitimacy to an individual sport like golf, tennis, skateboarding (which by the way I do and is even less accepting of the female athlete still), etc.

First of all, thank you to everyone for positive responses. I was very worried that I might come off sounding like a whiner (which if I did feel free to let me know and I'll work on it), but at the same time I felt like I needed to take a stand on this point. I love this sport as does Tracy. I was a little worried that posting might stir up trouble and that is not want I wanted by any stretch of the imagination. All I hope for is a friendly competitive environment in which golfers of all levels feel welcome. I know I won't be going to the Souther Nationals anytime soon, and I understand that there should be times and places for the best in our sport to play exclusively. Thank you all for understanding and I give you my promise to promote disc golf in our area in the best of lights and to do my best to encourage new players both male and female as much as I possibly can. I was angered yesterday, but with time that anger has turned more toward a feeling of pity towards some individuals. I know we all have our problems... As a matter of fact disc golf was my refuge after divorce and probably saved me from drowning in the bar scene. So I by no means wish for anyone to not be out there having fun. I plan on getting good enough to not look like a total fool by the time of the next mini... we'll see.

[Justin L]

First, let me apologize for not responding faster. I've been on the road for the last couple days and while I’m able to read posts from my cell phone replying is a pain.

So I've settled into my hotel in Augusta, GA this afternoon (after I just played Olmstead Park....awesome) and have a chance to respond.

Just to mirror what everyone else in this thread said; just ignore him. The Sunday Doubles thing got restarted last fall when Viktor, Ben, I and a few others decided we wanted to meet some more of the local players. The intent of the casual doubles has ALWAYS been to encourage players of all skill levels to play together.

Now I’m not saying it isn't competitive. I like to go out there and beat my friends just as much as the next guy, ha-ha. But in the intent of our Sunday doubles that has ALWAYS been secondary and it should stay that way.

Please let Tracy know that I thoroughly enjoyed the time we played as a team and I look forward to doing it again in the future. I'm sure 99% of the people that she will play with will have the same response, I'm just very sorry that she had to have an experience with that unpleasant 1%!

[Parkntwoputt]

As being one of the players brought up by Richard (thanks for the compliment) I thought I would respond to this.

When I was in Birmingham, Jeremy and I were coming up to become two of the better players in town (aside the likes of Tom, Tim, Joe, and Randy). However, Jeremy and I were the only ones who regularly played doubles, and typically either one of us was on the winning team.

With random doubles, the two of us knew that most people wanted to be paired with either of us. These were usually the competitive newbies who wanted a chance to cash and/or win. I was always happy to have new players as my partner, it gave me great pride to be able to help new and improving players. I know I benefited from having a newer player as a partner, because personally it gave me the sense of pressure of needing to perform at all times, not directly from my partner, they were usually apologizing for throwing a wayward shot or missing a putt. They felt that they were causing me undue pressure. Actually I used this "pressure" to help my own game to become a better player. :) I never felt they were bringing me down, even on a bad day.

It is all a part of random draw doubles. Sometimes the two best players will be paired together. Sometimes the two worst players are paired together. Sometimes a really good player is paired with a very bad player. But the spirit of doubles is a team event. If my partner threw a bad shot, and I followed it up with a bad shot.....well the only person I can blame for my errant throw is myself. I never blamed my partners for causing me to mess up, unless they actually did, like talk during my throw or move in front of my putting zone.

I think Vik and I are a testament to a good doubles team and remaining friends. I remember at 2005 Am World Doubles during the Alternate shot round, we were getting very upset. This was usually because Vik may have left me with a bad lie, or I flubbed an easy up shot or missed a makeable putt. But we stuck through it, and are still friends dispite living 700 miles away. We both realized that neither of us was playing particularly well, both during that round or that weekend. We each had our fair share of good drives, good approaches and incredible putts. But we also had an equal share of bad drives, flubbed approaches, doinked putts, and shots ending up OB.

Doubles is a team event. It takes two people, and like any team event you cannot just rely on everyone else, you have to pull your weight too.

Don't let this one jerk ruin your wifes enjoyment of the game. Bring her out and ignore that guy. Above and beyond that. HAVE FUN!